Love refuses...

Love refuses to change its course,

though it finds no path to travel on.
Love holds fast to all its hopes,
though all its cause for hope is gone.

Love sits beside an empty chair,
though endless hours pass, alone it waits.
Love seeks a train that never comes,
though past the time they close the gates.

Love checks the post day after day,
though emptiness is all it finds.
Love finally seals the lover's fate.
It locks her doors and shuts her blinds.

Joseph Weilenbeck 05/05/2018

Limousine moments...

The moments stretched
Like limousines
In funeral procession.
Each long and dark,
Appearing the same.
But, riding in each one,
A different memory.
Some familiar and often seen.
Some seen but once,
Then never again.
Like family gathered
To say good-bye,
Some better known than others,
But all present out of love.

They passed one after another,
Carrying their flowers
For his resting place.
Each pausing briefly
To be certain
I took notice.
Then, in tears,
Each departed—
Leaving a flower.
To dry, but remain.
To be treasured
As its color fades.
And kept
Forever.

Joseph Weilenbeck 2001
Written in 2001, remembering the night I sat with my father while he gently passed away.

If it were that I were...

If it were
That I were
Invisible and mute,
My apparent non-existence
Would be far more complete.

Thoughts and dreams
And feelings,
Now hidden in my heart,
Never could I dare to force
Reluctant ears to greet.

My state
Would then be clear,
And so, my torment less—
A mere living apparition,
Perhaps not meant to be.

Confirmed
By absence of response.
Condemned to the extant silence.
One to approach, but never touch—
To surmise, but never see.

Joseph Weilenbeck 2001

Another day...

‘Tis sad indeed what I do ponder
As I approach the front door yonder.
“However will this day I squander?”
Is the thought that comes to me.

A product of the others wasted,
All gone by with nothing tasted
But the hours and minutes basted
Pursuing vain security.

Each empty day portends a ‘morrow
Doomed to end in bitter sorrow
For the time that I did borrow
With no return provided me.

Days that end in anguished night
In a tunnel with no distant light,
Just regret for adding to the blight
That dims life’s brilliant tapestry.

All labor of my mind and hand
Sold to the world’s delusive plan
That stole this sinful, careless man
From all that he was meant to be.

O world, why do I seek thy favor,
Denying that which I most savor,
Not to taste the sweetest flavor
Of the life God planned for me?

But as I, this day, traverse the door,
My God, my Father, I implore...
Let me not waste just one day more
Walking with my back to Thee.

Recast my life Thy perfect way.
Rule all I think and do and say.
Thy will be done through me each day.
From now until eternity.

Joseph Weilenbeck 1996

Time and hope to dream...

Author's Note: This is not "how I think", but it is often "what I feel". It is the bold imprint that clinical depression has embroidered upon the fabric of my life. I can sometimes look past it; but even then, it remains in my field of view. It beckons me to embrace it.

Time and hope to dream...

by Joseph Weilenbeck

Remembering forgotten places
Recalling unfamiliar faces
Grasping at the fading traces
of life's last and least remains
of tears and laughter, joy and pain
of moments not to be again.
Wondering what life can mean
When you've lost all time and hope to dream.

When yesterdays surpass tomorrows
When joys are beaten back by sorrows
And you're out of chances you can borrow
from days too short, and nights too long
with strength too scarce to carry on
until, at last, your soul gives up its song.
When the path ahead is short and mean
And you've lost all time and hope to dream.

Joseph Weilenbeck 2017

My Via Dolarosa

Author's note:  Written as a hymn several years ago, this is a reminder that we are not alone in our struggles and suffering in this life on earth. 

The street that Jesus walked on His way to the cross has been named the Via Dolarosa, which means “way of sorrows”. We, too, walk a way of sorrows as we go through life – sometimes the product of circumstances, and sometimes the direct result of our own sins or mistakes. In either case, we can feel overwhelmed by our sorrows. But we have One whom we can follow, who will then walk with us, and who has borne so much more than we will ever have to bear.

* * *

My Via Dolarosa
by Joseph Weilenbeck

O Lord, walk with me on my Via Dolarosa.
Let my every step be taken in Your will.
Correct me and reprove me.
Let Your Holy Spirit move me
Past my sorrows, Your sweet purpose to fulfill.

Though my faulty steps will oft’ cause me to stumble,
There are two truths to be counted with each fall –
My sin which does corrupt,
And my Lord who lifts me up,
For You are faithful to be with me through it all.
   
Lord, in weakness, I may pity all I suffer,
And, in shame or sorrow, mourn my every loss.
But the pain I might endure
Cannot compare with that You bore
When, long ago, You took my sins upon the cross.
   
O Lord, walk with me on my Via Dolarosa.
And, in my sorrows, may all others clearly see
There is not so great a pain
That You cannot sustain
The life You purchased when You walked that street for me.

O Lord, walk with me on my Via Dolarosa.


Joseph Weilenbeck 2005

The horizon of what use to be...

Author's note: Whether it's the years or illness, I don't know. But, I find myself recalling brief moments long past - moments of no great significance - moments more simple than profound. Moments marked by things like the look of the sky, the feel of the air, the fragrance of the trees, or the feeling of vastness looking out across the desert. I can almost recall the sights, the sounds, the feeling. Almost, but not quite. And I am saddened, for each time those moments come, their stay is shorter and their clarity less. I fear that soon they will be lost forever.

* * * 

The horizon of what use to be...
 by Joseph Weilenbeck

The moments dance
before my eyes
then teasing,
run and hide where I can't see.
So, I search
and when I find
that very spot,
I look behind.
But all that I see hiding there is me.

No moments to treasure.
No moments of pleasure.
No moments lived, to be lived again.
Just the last half of a memory,
of a time and place that use to be,
on a road that cannot lead from now to then.

So, I wait in silence
patiently
for the if and when
of another one to pass.
I hold my net
and when it's time,
I take a swing
but all I find
is a prayer to God that it won't be my last.

No treasure to catch.
No pleasure to match
those moments real that now in shadows hide.
Just the taillights of a memory
on the horizon of what use to be
fading into darkness on the other side. 

Joseph Weilenbeck  2018

I Will Be With You

Author's note: I wrote this several years ago after speaking with a friend who was facing the imminent death of her husband. As we spoke and prayed, I wanted so much to find words that would ease her pain, and offer her hope in the midst of her grief. I went home, and stayed up all night struggling with the same question: what could I say that would help? In fact, I ended up spending several nights doing just the same. As I read from Scripture on the last of those long nights, I was reminded of the obvious.  My words don't hold the answer.  My words have no power to help.  When our needs are deep and profound, only God's words can offer true hope, consolation, and comfort.  As that fact reclaimed its rightful place in my mind, I was reading from the book of Isaiah.  When I finished reading, I put my Bible aside, and wrote this song. What I could not conceive over several days, God gave me in a matter of minutes. 

The song is inspired by Isaiah, Chapter 43, Verses 2 and 3, and draws upon many other verses from throughout Scripture.

I now offer this song, and my prayers, for those grieving and suffering 
in Santa Fe, Texas as a result of today's shooting. May God be with you
and comfort you.

* * * 

        I Will Be With You
            by Joseph Weilenbeck

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you.
When the rivers overflow,
I will bring you through.
When you walk through the fire,
You will not be harmed.
I will keep you
Sure and safe
In My arms.

For I am your God
And My word is true.
I will guard your heart
When troubles come to you.

Be at peace and know
You can trust in My plan.
And always,
I will hold you in My hand.

When all your strength is gone,
I will carry you.
When you’re alone, afraid, and numb,
I will be there too.
When each tear leaves your eye,
I will hear it fall.
I love you.
I’ll be with you
Through it all.

For I am your God.
I will be with you.
Whatever trials you face,
I will see you through.

Though darkness may come,
By Me, you shall stand.
And always,
I will hold you in My hand.

Even now,
      I am holding you
                   In My hand.


Joseph Weilenbeck 2005

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God,  the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.        ~Isaiah 43:2, 3 (ESV)

We’re just driftin’...

We're just driftin'...
by Joseph Weilenbeck

I’m afraid that we’re just driftin’

Just driftin’ you and me.

We think we’re headed for the harbor

When in fact we’re all just driftin’ out to sea.

I once knew a man

Who took himself a wife.

They made a vow that they would cherish one another

Every moment of their life.

They both worked their jobs

Long hours every day.

Now they come home late at night

And go to bed without a single word to say.

They don’t know that they’ve been driftin’.

They’re just as blind as they could be.

They thought they’d anchored in safe harbor

When in fact they were just driftin’ out to sea.

And like them we’re all driftin’

Just driftin’ you and me.

We all think we’ll make the harbor

But it seems we just keep driftin’ out to sea.

They once had a boy

They had such great joy at his birth.

Filled with every hope and promise

They thought that he would surely change this earth.

He did all of his homework.

Passed his tests and got his grades.

Now he hides inside in a room and tries

Just livin’ through his pipe and spoon and blades.

Cause all the time he’s just been driftin’

As far away as he could be.

They thought he’d sail into the harbor

But instead he slowly drifted out to sea.

Like him I fear that we’re all driftin’

Yes we’re driftin’ you and me.

Though our demons may be different

The truth is we’re still driftin’ out to sea.

I once knew a pastor

Could preach to reach the dead.

He longed to save all those who’d listen

To the words he said.

He built himself a church

To be a shelter from the storm.

But when the doors were closed and locked

He could not find a single soul to keep him warm.

He found he’d just been driftin’

Though he thought he had the key.

He tried to point the way to harbor

But instead his eyes were fixed upon the sea.

In our own way we’re all just driftin’

Just driftin’ you and me.

Each day no closer to the harbor

But each day we’re so much farther out to sea.

Now we say we have a Savior

Went to the cross that we’d be saved.

We say He died for all our sins

But just the same we go on sinnin’ every day.

Each week we go to church

Where we bow and sing and pray.

We think we’re on our way to Heaven

When in fact we’re all just travelin’ our own way.

We even read the Holy Book

Read some chapters every day.

We say we’re changin’ in our hearts

But we know mostly we’re just learnin’ words to say.

We close our eyes and keep on driftin’.

We’re just driftin’ aimlessly.

And lest we turn back to the harbor

Very soon we’ll be forever lost at sea.

But all the same we go on driftin’

We just keep driftin’ you and me.

The harbor’s faded far behind

While you and me, we just keep driftin’ out to sea.

 -- Joseph Weilenbeck June 17, 2012 

Acknowledgement: The message and rhythm of this poem are inspired by 

the words and rhythm of  Paul Simon's "Slip Slidin' Away"

Be a balm that soothes...

Look around you
and open your eyes

Allow yourself
to see the pain
to feel the sorrow
to know the suffering

Be a balm that soothes
the broken hearts
the troubled minds
the tortured souls

Look around you
and open your heart

Joseph Weilenbeck 5/17/2018

If you possess these...

Just something to think about...

If you possess these,
in your heart and in your life,
you have what no riches can buy.

If you give these to others,
you contribute far more
to the good of humankind
than the richest of persons
could ever give.

Joseph Weilenbeck 5/15/2018

I don't know that I could answer...

Once I was the star of my life
Seems now I am but an extra
Waiting for the call that never comes
And, should it come,
I don't know that I could answer

Joseph Weilenbeck 5/14/2018

I cut myself...

I cut myself
   and yes I bleed.
But I know it's not
   a lasting deed.
The flesh will heal
   and the pain will steal
   away.

Not so with
   cutting words I hear.
My mind they burn...
   my heart they sear.
They bring their pain
   and then remain
   to stay.

So I see myself
   through darkened eyes.
Shades of truth...
   tints of lies...
All the same,
   inside they came
   to me.

Now time passes
   but yet they thrive.
And in quiet moments
   come alive.
I hear them call,
   and then they're all
   I see.

Seems kind words live,
   but silently.
While the harshest
   cry out endlessly.
First, lying in wait,
   then screaming in hate
   they come.

So, I cut myself
   and yes I bleed.
But there is a point
   to my pointless deed.
Before they take me
   I just want to make me
   numb.

Joseph Weilenbeck 2017
In empathy for all who have been hurt and scarred so deeply by the hateful words of others.

Seems the memories...

Seems the memories
now come, then flee
and disappear
behind the walls
of age and time
and my troubled mind,
no more to hear me when I call.

They show their face
then leave a space,
a void to last
forevermore.
Taking one more part
of my breaking heart,
they turn away
and close the door.

Time now lost,
its drawers all tossed
from searching for
what might remain
of distant places
and forgotten faces,
all washed away
with yesterday's rain.

My book of dreams
and plans and schemes,
it seems is nowhere
to be found.
In the fading light
of the coming night,
it's buried deep
in covered ground.

Joseph Weilenbeck 11/17/2017

We drive by the flowers...

We drive by the flowers

    Looking through glass,
Missing the essence
    Of all that we pass.

We see only colors
    With no shape or line,
Their beauty and meaning
    Lost to our minds.

O Breath!

O Breath! Why do you despise me so?
That when I bid you come,
You defiantly go

And when, though reluctant, you enter in
You stubbornly refuse
To go out again

Both coming and going, you dig in your heels
And smile at the weakness
You make me feel

O Breath! I beg you, put your fight to rest
And come and go gently
To and from my chest

Joseph Weilenbeck 04/12/2018
On my struggle with COPD

No one knew why...

I once wrote a song...

    No one knew why
I once wrote a poem...
    No one knew why
I once painted a picture...
    No one knew why
I once shared my dreams...
    No one knew why
I once spoke of great ideas...
    No one knew why
I once lived...
    No one knew why

A poet's words...

A poet's words

scrawled in fading ink

on yellowing pages

Consigned

to an unmarked grave

and forgotten

Guarded by darkness

erased by time

touching no one

Joseph Weilenbeck  04/11/2018

If you have to ask...

Why does the artist
paint
what no one will see?
And, why does the poet
write
what no one will read?
Why does the musician
compose
what no one will hear?
And, why does the singer
sing
what reaches no other ear?
Why does each one
labor
for what others deem naught?
Why not just do what those others,
think
that he ought?

Why? O why? O why? O why?
Don't you know that it's just
that he must,
    lest he die?
But, if you do have to ask,
you may never know why.

Joseph Weilenbeck 2018

On and on and on...

I get up each morning

    and put on a smile.
I tell myself one more time,
    "Just pretend for a while."
I share a quick laugh
    with everybody I see.
And try to hide inside
    the pain that's crushing me.

Sometimes I make it,
    but sometimes I fall.
Sometimes I just wish
    they could see through it all.
But, no matter the facts,
    I keep up the act.
'Cause if I let go,
    I fear I'll never come back.

And so...

I take my show on the road,
    I drag it mile after mile.
I hold my head up
    and force smile after smile.
I say all the things
    that I'm expected to say.
If I can keep up the lie,
    maybe I'll last one more day.

And I keep hoping that I
    can bring this play to an end.
But I can't find the script
    to tell me how and when.
And I can't find the lines
    that I once knew were true.
Can't even say if this play
    will close before I do.

So, I keep up the act.
    I don't know how to turn back.
I Keep going on
    and on and on.
And I stay with the play
    day after day.
On and on
    and on and on and on.

Joseph Weilenbeck 10/15/2017