Love refuses...

Love refuses to change its course,

though it finds no path to travel on.
Love holds fast to all its hopes,
though all its cause for hope is gone.

Love sits beside an empty chair,
though endless hours pass, alone it waits.
Love seeks a train that never comes,
though past the time they close the gates.

Love checks the post day after day,
though emptiness is all it finds.
Love finally seals the lover's fate.
It locks her doors and shuts her blinds.

Joseph Weilenbeck 05/05/2018

Limousine moments...

The moments stretched
Like limousines
In funeral procession.
Each long and dark,
Appearing the same.
But, riding in each one,
A different memory.
Some familiar and often seen.
Some seen but once,
Then never again.
Like family gathered
To say good-bye,
Some better known than others,
But all present out of love.

They passed one after another,
Carrying their flowers
For his resting place.
Each pausing briefly
To be certain
I took notice.
Then, in tears,
Each departed—
Leaving a flower.
To dry, but remain.
To be treasured
As its color fades.
And kept
Forever.

Joseph Weilenbeck 2001
Written in 2001, remembering the night I sat with my father while he gently passed away.

If it were that I were...

If it were
That I were
Invisible and mute,
My apparent non-existence
Would be far more complete.

Thoughts and dreams
And feelings,
Now hidden in my heart,
Never could I dare to force
Reluctant ears to greet.

My state
Would then be clear,
And so, my torment less—
A mere living apparition,
Perhaps not meant to be.

Confirmed
By absence of response.
Condemned to the extant silence.
One to approach, but never touch—
To surmise, but never see.

Joseph Weilenbeck 2001

Time and hope to dream...

Author's Note: This is not "how I think", but it is often "what I feel". It is the bold imprint that clinical depression has embroidered upon the fabric of my life. I can sometimes look past it; but even then, it remains in my field of view. It beckons me to embrace it.

Time and hope to dream...

by Joseph Weilenbeck

Remembering forgotten places
Recalling unfamiliar faces
Grasping at the fading traces
of life's last and least remains
of tears and laughter, joy and pain
of moments not to be again.
Wondering what life can mean
When you've lost all time and hope to dream.

When yesterdays surpass tomorrows
When joys are beaten back by sorrows
And you're out of chances you can borrow
from days too short, and nights too long
with strength too scarce to carry on
until, at last, your soul gives up its song.
When the path ahead is short and mean
And you've lost all time and hope to dream.

Joseph Weilenbeck 2017

And Jesus weeps with all of the mothers...

Something to think about...

As so many mothers weep for their missing and murdered daughters, I am certain that Our Lord weeps with them, and for them.  I am appalled by the numbers, which are staggering.  I am appalled by the degree to which we have allowed this to happen. And now, I weep and pray with the mothers, and fathers, and siblings, and children...

"Jesus wept."

Gospel of John, chapter 11, verse 35

My Via Dolarosa

Author's note:  Written as a hymn several years ago, this is a reminder that we are not alone in our struggles and suffering in this life on earth. 

The street that Jesus walked on His way to the cross has been named the Via Dolarosa, which means “way of sorrows”. We, too, walk a way of sorrows as we go through life – sometimes the product of circumstances, and sometimes the direct result of our own sins or mistakes. In either case, we can feel overwhelmed by our sorrows. But we have One whom we can follow, who will then walk with us, and who has borne so much more than we will ever have to bear.

* * *

My Via Dolarosa
by Joseph Weilenbeck

O Lord, walk with me on my Via Dolarosa.
Let my every step be taken in Your will.
Correct me and reprove me.
Let Your Holy Spirit move me
Past my sorrows, Your sweet purpose to fulfill.

Though my faulty steps will oft’ cause me to stumble,
There are two truths to be counted with each fall –
My sin which does corrupt,
And my Lord who lifts me up,
For You are faithful to be with me through it all.
   
Lord, in weakness, I may pity all I suffer,
And, in shame or sorrow, mourn my every loss.
But the pain I might endure
Cannot compare with that You bore
When, long ago, You took my sins upon the cross.
   
O Lord, walk with me on my Via Dolarosa.
And, in my sorrows, may all others clearly see
There is not so great a pain
That You cannot sustain
The life You purchased when You walked that street for me.

O Lord, walk with me on my Via Dolarosa.


Joseph Weilenbeck 2005

I Will Be With You

Author's note: I wrote this several years ago after speaking with a friend who was facing the imminent death of her husband. As we spoke and prayed, I wanted so much to find words that would ease her pain, and offer her hope in the midst of her grief. I went home, and stayed up all night struggling with the same question: what could I say that would help? In fact, I ended up spending several nights doing just the same. As I read from Scripture on the last of those long nights, I was reminded of the obvious.  My words don't hold the answer.  My words have no power to help.  When our needs are deep and profound, only God's words can offer true hope, consolation, and comfort.  As that fact reclaimed its rightful place in my mind, I was reading from the book of Isaiah.  When I finished reading, I put my Bible aside, and wrote this song. What I could not conceive over several days, God gave me in a matter of minutes. 

The song is inspired by Isaiah, Chapter 43, Verses 2 and 3, and draws upon many other verses from throughout Scripture.

I now offer this song, and my prayers, for those grieving and suffering 
in Santa Fe, Texas as a result of today's shooting. May God be with you
and comfort you.

* * * 

        I Will Be With You
            by Joseph Weilenbeck

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you.
When the rivers overflow,
I will bring you through.
When you walk through the fire,
You will not be harmed.
I will keep you
Sure and safe
In My arms.

For I am your God
And My word is true.
I will guard your heart
When troubles come to you.

Be at peace and know
You can trust in My plan.
And always,
I will hold you in My hand.

When all your strength is gone,
I will carry you.
When you’re alone, afraid, and numb,
I will be there too.
When each tear leaves your eye,
I will hear it fall.
I love you.
I’ll be with you
Through it all.

For I am your God.
I will be with you.
Whatever trials you face,
I will see you through.

Though darkness may come,
By Me, you shall stand.
And always,
I will hold you in My hand.

Even now,
      I am holding you
                   In My hand.


Joseph Weilenbeck 2005

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God,  the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.        ~Isaiah 43:2, 3 (ESV)

We’re just driftin’...

We're just driftin'...
by Joseph Weilenbeck

I’m afraid that we’re just driftin’

Just driftin’ you and me.

We think we’re headed for the harbor

When in fact we’re all just driftin’ out to sea.

I once knew a man

Who took himself a wife.

They made a vow that they would cherish one another

Every moment of their life.

They both worked their jobs

Long hours every day.

Now they come home late at night

And go to bed without a single word to say.

They don’t know that they’ve been driftin’.

They’re just as blind as they could be.

They thought they’d anchored in safe harbor

When in fact they were just driftin’ out to sea.

And like them we’re all driftin’

Just driftin’ you and me.

We all think we’ll make the harbor

But it seems we just keep driftin’ out to sea.

They once had a boy

They had such great joy at his birth.

Filled with every hope and promise

They thought that he would surely change this earth.

He did all of his homework.

Passed his tests and got his grades.

Now he hides inside in a room and tries

Just livin’ through his pipe and spoon and blades.

Cause all the time he’s just been driftin’

As far away as he could be.

They thought he’d sail into the harbor

But instead he slowly drifted out to sea.

Like him I fear that we’re all driftin’

Yes we’re driftin’ you and me.

Though our demons may be different

The truth is we’re still driftin’ out to sea.

I once knew a pastor

Could preach to reach the dead.

He longed to save all those who’d listen

To the words he said.

He built himself a church

To be a shelter from the storm.

But when the doors were closed and locked

He could not find a single soul to keep him warm.

He found he’d just been driftin’

Though he thought he had the key.

He tried to point the way to harbor

But instead his eyes were fixed upon the sea.

In our own way we’re all just driftin’

Just driftin’ you and me.

Each day no closer to the harbor

But each day we’re so much farther out to sea.

Now we say we have a Savior

Went to the cross that we’d be saved.

We say He died for all our sins

But just the same we go on sinnin’ every day.

Each week we go to church

Where we bow and sing and pray.

We think we’re on our way to Heaven

When in fact we’re all just travelin’ our own way.

We even read the Holy Book

Read some chapters every day.

We say we’re changin’ in our hearts

But we know mostly we’re just learnin’ words to say.

We close our eyes and keep on driftin’.

We’re just driftin’ aimlessly.

And lest we turn back to the harbor

Very soon we’ll be forever lost at sea.

But all the same we go on driftin’

We just keep driftin’ you and me.

The harbor’s faded far behind

While you and me, we just keep driftin’ out to sea.

 -- Joseph Weilenbeck June 17, 2012 

Acknowledgement: The message and rhythm of this poem are inspired by 

the words and rhythm of  Paul Simon's "Slip Slidin' Away"

Be a balm that soothes...

Look around you
and open your eyes

Allow yourself
to see the pain
to feel the sorrow
to know the suffering

Be a balm that soothes
the broken hearts
the troubled minds
the tortured souls

Look around you
and open your heart

Joseph Weilenbeck 5/17/2018

I cut myself...

I cut myself
   and yes I bleed.
But I know it's not
   a lasting deed.
The flesh will heal
   and the pain will steal
   away.

Not so with
   cutting words I hear.
My mind they burn...
   my heart they sear.
They bring their pain
   and then remain
   to stay.

So I see myself
   through darkened eyes.
Shades of truth...
   tints of lies...
All the same,
   inside they came
   to me.

Now time passes
   but yet they thrive.
And in quiet moments
   come alive.
I hear them call,
   and then they're all
   I see.

Seems kind words live,
   but silently.
While the harshest
   cry out endlessly.
First, lying in wait,
   then screaming in hate
   they come.

So, I cut myself
   and yes I bleed.
But there is a point
   to my pointless deed.
Before they take me
   I just want to make me
   numb.

Joseph Weilenbeck 2017
In empathy for all who have been hurt and scarred so deeply by the hateful words of others.

This Morning’s Sun Need Ne’er Have Shown

Why do you lie beside me still

    And stir not least upon my touch?
Do you lack strength, or maybe will,
    My trembling hand to even clutch?

Does morning hold no promise bright
    To coax your sleeping eyes awake?
Will they not lift but ever slight,
    In pity, my worst fears to take?

Why do your lips now grow so cold,
    Though bathing in the sun’s warm glow?
Is there not another kiss they hold?
    Nor one more smile for them to show?

Does your heart not have another beat,
    That I could feel upon my own?
If not, ‘tis all of my defeat.
    This morning’s sun need ne’er have shown.

Joseph Weilenbeck December, 1998 
Written in sympathy for a friend - whose husband unexpectedly passed away in their bed one morning

On and on and on...

I get up each morning

    and put on a smile.
I tell myself one more time,
    "Just pretend for a while."
I share a quick laugh
    with everybody I see.
And try to hide inside
    the pain that's crushing me.

Sometimes I make it,
    but sometimes I fall.
Sometimes I just wish
    they could see through it all.
But, no matter the facts,
    I keep up the act.
'Cause if I let go,
    I fear I'll never come back.

And so...

I take my show on the road,
    I drag it mile after mile.
I hold my head up
    and force smile after smile.
I say all the things
    that I'm expected to say.
If I can keep up the lie,
    maybe I'll last one more day.

And I keep hoping that I
    can bring this play to an end.
But I can't find the script
    to tell me how and when.
And I can't find the lines
    that I once knew were true.
Can't even say if this play
    will close before I do.

So, I keep up the act.
    I don't know how to turn back.
I Keep going on
    and on and on.
And I stay with the play
    day after day.
On and on
    and on and on and on.

Joseph Weilenbeck 10/15/2017

My Mother's Tears

My mother's tears

pour from her eyes
like the summer rain
on the mesa.
But they never touch me.
They never reach
the barren ground
that hides me.

My flesh,
my blood
long turned to sand,
leave only my bones...
lying and waiting
for my mother's tears

to find me.

Screams from the night,
from an endless night,
searched for an ear to hear.
But no one would hear
and no one would come.
Now only my bones
are left to cry out.

So, from my desert grave
again I scream.
But still
no one comes.
And my mother's tears
wait to find me.

Night after night
I look down
on the city.
But I have no eyes
to see the lights.
And day after day
I bake in the sun
and wait in the dark
for my mother's tears
to find me.

Joseph Weilenbeck 2015

For those found, and yet to be found, on Albuquerque's West Mesa -- and for their families.
Do not forget them, nor those not yet found.

Like a ship within a storm...

Author's note:  I wrote this poem and song in 1992, as my father lay gravely ill. For a month, I stayed with him at the hospital.  My mother, as well as my wife, daughter, and sister stayed nearby.  I left the hospital only briefly for an occasional meal with my family.  I spent hours in meetings with doctors. I spent even more hours in the Chapel with my mother, praying for Dad and for strength to face whatever was to be. Dad experienced days of rallying, and days of decline.  Hope for recovery soon gave way to the beginning of grief, as he continued to weaken, and his condition continued to deteriorate.  I spent the last night in near darkness by his bedside, as life slowly left his body. I prayed, and wept, and gave thanks to God for this man who meant so much to me.  In the middle of this month-long ordeal, I wrote these words.

Like a ship within a storm...
by Joseph Weilenbeck

Lord, I don’t know how
I’ll make it through
Another day.
It seems the things
I’ve counted on
Are slipping fast away.

There is nothing near
That I can see
And cling to for support.
Just like a ship
Within a storm—
And far from any port.

The stress is high.
The day is long.
I’m frightened and alone.
Just like a ship
Within a storm—
So very far from home.

I feel despair
Engulfing me.
I fear that I will drown.
Just like a ship
Within a storm—
With no hope of reaching ground.

I’m at the edge
Where I can see
No future but to die.
Just like a ship
Within a storm—
Her stern tipped toward the sky.

I make one final
Desperate plea
To You in my distress.
Just like a ship
Within a storm—
Sending one last SOS.

Then with Your faithful love
You lift me
High above the storm.
And wrap protecting
Arms around me—
Keeping me from harm.

My fears now calmed,
My hope restored,
I know I’m not alone.
Just like a ship
Still in the storm—
But safely heading home.


Joseph Weilenbeck 1992